There was a story on the local news this week about a woman who has booked her wedding for February---she's got the perfect dress, booked her dream venue, chosen the cake and hired the photographer. She just doesn't yet know who the lucky guy is going to be.
But she's working on it, managing a campaign on Facebook. She's been on almost fifty dates since beginning her pursuit of a groom. She claims to be getting inquiries for all sorts of fellas, and says she will know The One when she meets him. I thought it was more than a little ridiculous at first, but really, it's kind of an extension of on-line or speed dating, just with a lot more optimism thrown in.
The whole notion of on-line dating is that you can make a list of things you want, go out and look for it, go out on dates with those who meet your criteria, and eventually find what you want. It's a numbers game, people say. You've got to put yourself out there. This woman clearly has faith in the idea of deciding what she wants and going after it. If you are wondering, she is objectively quite attractive, as was the guy they showed her with on the date. "She's brazen," he said admiringly. (This chick and those Rules girls would have quite the catfight.)
And therein lies the problem for me with such a system. The times I've been struck by love haven't been because I've made a list of what I want, though I maybe should. But that presumes I myself know what I need, and given my track record, I'm not sure that's true. And I am such a romantic that I think love is going to find me rather than the other way around, although it's been suggested to me by friends that love is unlikely to locate me if I am at home with a book. Fair enough.
There are lots of ways to find a mate if that's the goal. Many years ago I was at a birthday party for a five year old, and a few of the mothers were talking about how we'd met our husbands. One woman, a beautiful, educated Pakistani, piped up and said, "I had an arranged marriage." Well, that stopped the conversation dead. She looked at us. "Well, I was young, and my family knew what would work long term. After all, who of us has the good sense to know a good match when we're young and silly?" A fair point, though I know a good many old and silly people, too.
In the end, a lot of it boils down to luck. I'll be watching for updates on the bride to be. In a way, I'm kind of impressed with her confidence. And if it doesn't work out this time, at least she's got the dress.